a fairground life
As I sit here and write, the secc is heading towards its finale. It's been a long three weeks for "r" and 'skyliner c'. The very busy days are just that and the quiet days are mind numbingly boring. Both instances leave you with plenty of time to think, even when your busy if things are running smooth you just go into auto pilot or zombie mode and become more or less an automatism. Either way your mind wanders to better places or comes up with random thoughts to amuse ones self. so 'skyliner c' came up with this humorous riddle, I think it deserves a mention…
You are driving a car at a constant speed. The ground to your left falls away 18 inches, to your right there is a fire engine, travelling at the same speed. Ahead of you is a horse and rider, you cannot overtake. By turning and looking behind, you observe a galloping Zebra going the same speed as you,the horse and the fire engine. You don't have any brakes. How do you escape this dangerous situation??????????
skyliner c will publish the answer in the comments after we get some answers in.
So tonight at 10pm it will be DZ down, out and take it over to the mall to set it on the plot.
Monday at the back of 9am I'm off to London for Guild biz so i hope all goes smooth.
The pict is all the lorries waiting in carpark 5 ready for tonight, no snow as apposed to last years photo.
posted by showman @ 19:24
20 Comments
20 Comments:
Hope tonight's pull down goes well and that everyone gets out quickly and without any damage. Is there a dead line when the hall needs to be cleared by ?
Looking through the Xmas edition of WF earlier today and low and behold, your pictures in the gallery page. Hope the regs are all well and that we can get a bit more dialog going over the coming mths.
Rds
You are driving a car at a constant speed. The ground to your left falls away 18 inches, to your right there is a fire engine, travelling at the same speed. Ahead of you is a horse and rider, you cannot overtake. By turning and looking behind, you observe a galloping Zebra going the same speed as you,the horse and the fire engine. You don't have any brakes. How do you escape this dangerous situation??????????
Until such times as you win the lottery you grin and bear it. Unfortunately it's called modern life LOL
Heard it showman, but wont spoil it by giving the answer away!
Hope all is well with the usuals and blakey is keeping busy.
evening all, "r" and skylner c many thanks for the banter when i visited the secc after the new year, may i say what great jobs you have done over the 3 weeks in the hall and to all other showman who made the event the success it is year after year providing the punters with a world class line up of north and south attractions good on you all. things are running smoothly here in the borderer miss b is on buisness so im pottering about finding things to do when ive got some free time , hope all regs well cheers borderer
got pulled down, out and set at the mall in 1hr55mins, I'm well pleased with that so I'll get my 9:30 to London no problem. That pict of me ss was taken by john (flatty) at Galashiels this summer. I've met most of the regular bloggers now only you to catch up with, one day maybe.
Morning Showman, 1hr-55min must be some sort of record, hope the secc was productive, won't be long before the turn out party and you'r back on the road again.Don't forget gs will probably back down our neck of the woods in April so why don't you come down with him?
Hello "ss" I'm guessing an answer to your Q and I'm saying your on a fairground ride so you would have to wait for it to stop to get off ( sounds like B A's toy set) am I close? Like to say hello to every one ss,Jesters, Borderer,Blakey,and all the regs hope the weather improves and you'r making a bob or two,
Regards Flatty.
Good evening all,
hope all regs well. SECC done and dusted, as Showman says in super quick time to get pulled down, shifted and set at the mall. Was in my flat with a vodka for 20 past midnight lol. As promised here are the tops gripes from the SECC, compiled by myself and 'r'. There was a list of nearly 40 but some of them are interlinked with others so have whittled it down to the top 20. So here goes:
1. It's not that hard to rip a perforated edged ticket off from another
2. your kid is too short, "its ok mate ill sit next to him" Oh sorry i totally forgot about Issacs 6th law of physics !, your kids 6 inches taller when sitting next to you, apparently this law only applies at thecarnival though
3. is that it mister ?, what more do you want for a pound and have you seen the size of my queue?
4. you've waited in the Q for 20 minutes, but when you get to the front you still have to spend 10 minutes searching through your bag for your tickets
5. Nosy gits stop looking at what we're doing on the laptop
6. "Here big man...can you play Don't Stop Believing" Never knew the Carnival was also a nightclub?
7. "is it open" (during breakdown..no punters on machine or in queue...lights off) "does it look like it's open"
8. "Theres only 3 seats" "Yes...and theres 3 of you so whats the problem?"
9. Todays colour ticket is "orange"....that's more like it! About time you used proper colours none of this "hint of grey" nonsense
10. You have quite clearly heard through the speakers "sit back in the seat and put your hands up for the safety bars".....you think its rebellious holding on to the bar....in reality when I let go of this button (safety bar release) you are going to look like a right idiot...still in your seat with no way of escape
11. "What do I do with this" (holds up bottle of Irn Bru) "Well...I normally drink that"
12. "Aw come on, hes been on everything else" "Well he aint gettin on this!"
13. Your handbag isn't going to stop you from falling 50 feet to your death in the event of the machine falling to bits....so put it on the floor! (may not apply in the event of the bag containing a parachute"
14. Shhhhhhh! Dont scream or shout! You'll get us a queue!
15. If your shoe comes off on a small drop...it was intentional, if both come off before the end it's your own fault if they go down the black hole....and come back up caked in grease and slush puppies which have been kicked under the machine
16. Look just keep your shoes on, and if you need to take them off don't leave them on the other side of the machine from where you are sitting....I don't know if its come to your attention but we have a queue and would like to chop it up asap....yes it should come to your attention you've just stood in the same queue for the last 15 minutes
17. the exit is behind you...thats why im pointing that way...I'm not practicing my moves for The Garage this weekend
18. don't shake your head in disgust at us just because we say no to one of the following: Your kid not being tall enough, waiting until the next ride or having seats together
19. We rearrange the queue and yet you still do what we didnt want you to!
20. Stop leaving your bags/jackets/hats/juice/food/crap at my feet....I can't reach my laptop to moan
The majority of these altercations normally happen before the people have even sat down in the seats. Several within the SECC agree on a theory, that as soon as some of the public enter they leave their brains at the door. This theory was proven one day myself and Showman were minding. After the machine stopping at the bottom and the bars opening, even with me pointing the exit out clearly, it still took ALL 16 customers 3 laps round the machine to find the exit. I'll let you make your own mind up on the theory.
Regards
C
well done there skyliner c a great top 20 quotes from the punters of the secc. had a good chuckle at them i remember when i was chatting to yourself and "r" and some family said are you open yet son while the ride was in darkness and "r" was halfway up the ride with his harness " of course love this lads just a member of fathers for justice lol absolute idiots some people lol. hope all regs well cheers borderer.
well presented skyliner c, just proves that there is plenty of time in a carnival day for a mind to wander.
ho showman why are you posting comments at half one in the morning when your in london.
1 does mr's showman know your out that late without her.
2 why are you out on the piss when you there on guild business representing the little people like me.
3 does this mean my fee's go up again.
4 try to remember your expences dont include beer.
5 bad news mrs showman has just walked in and asked what i'm doing.you know how nosey she get's.
6 even worse news she just said you phoned at twenty to one and said that's you in.
7 what were you doing for 49 minute's before you posted.
8 did you put that on your expences as well.
9 is this better than skyliner c top twenty.
10 try to make it back in time tonight we got a plane and boat to catch tomorrow and we will all go without you.
note to john if your the only regular yet to meet showman,do yourself a favour and keep it that way.
note to r have you got some news to tell me and why did fatso know before me. i am deeply hurt. you can start raiding his fridge from now on if you want to take the risk. go on i dare you.
as you all probably guest were off on a well deserved holiday tomorrow
. will let you know how it was when we eturn. hope all regs are well.
good to hear from you blakey im sure showman has good answers for your quick fire questions i thought mrs showman would have went along for the wee trip down south ah well, hope you and your family have a great holiday blakey im sure you all deserve it, hope all regs well cheers borderer.
Hello Showman r u on holiday?
Regards, Flatty
hi john, just back from egypt (sharm), all I can say is cnn can hype things up in true hollywood style. The bbc news seemed to be more accurate.
your bang on with the riddle answer too!
Hope you enjoyed the break showman And every thing is ok on your return
Regards. Flatty
afternoon all, just took a weekend off the farm and up at our lodge in blair atholl we rent this out march to october( tourist season) so were up to make sure everythings fine and visiting friends in pitlochry while were here. how was sharm showman? obviously better than the conditions we had here in bonny scotland. hows all regs doing. blakey,jesters.john.skyliner c and SS. We are just off out aviemore for the day. cheers borderer.
evening all . sorry for my lack of comments lately been a busy few weeks with farm work and the occasional jet set lifestyle im not accustomed to sadly lol. myself and miss b went to our lodge in blair atholl few weeks back to check everything ok for the new 2011 tourist season as we let it out and visited family friends while up. farm work has been busy with scanning ewes to see how many lambs they will have at lambing time we were expecting the worst as the week we put the tups out to impregnate the ewes the dastardly snow decided to stop out for 3 weeks. but scanning score was just 1 percent lower than last year which is a great results 2500 sheep scanned- 1100 ewes with single lambs
850 ewes with twins, 519 ewes with triplets and 6 with quads (4) and just 25 emptys which is great result especially after crap back end snow. just returned last night from a long weekend to venice with miss borderer a valentines gift from me and celebrated miss b's birthday while there. hows things going showman and "r"? when the season kick off. hows all regs doing blakey,jesters,john and ss
cheers borderer.
Evening/morning all
Can't believe it's been a full month since the SECC finished. Has been a fairly busyish month for myself (been that long since I posted on here). Helped R for 2 weekends on the Drop Zone at the mall, got engaged to Miss Skyliner C 3 weeks back, and just this evening have started DJing again (last gig was 8th January feels like a winter break to me). A small gig in my hometown which was organised at the last minute but was a good night and gives my equipment a shake before the next big gig on Saturday night, a late Valentine's disco for the local young farmers (and there's alot of them here lol). Won't be too long before back out on the road again either, people already talking about KLM in April.
Hope all regs are well
Regards
C
congratulations on the engagment skyliner c many happy returns from myself and miss borderer. yeh times flown by allready mid february start lambing in 3 or so weeks, will be popping up to glasgow in the next few weekends may pop in see showman at the mall if hes set up there then. regards borderer
Good afternoon all
Thanks for the congrats Borderer. All quiet on the western front. Farmers DJing gig was a success and went off without a hitch, bound to be a success when the organisers give the DJ a free bar lol. Since then it has been fairly quiet, was in Falkirk for a few days this week housesitting for my sister. Back on the island last night and hit the radio waves with Skyliner Stewie on the local radio station..LIVE! Half the town now agrees I have a voice, and face, for radio. Always good to try it and enjoyed it so much going back next Friday night.
Hope all regs are well
Skyliner C
good evening all, just getting the sheds all ready for lambing here in the borders, weather has vastly improved past few weeks and lighter earlier and darker later so all things looking promising for an action packed lambing. showman hows things hope all is well with urself and the family? how was the holiday with mr blakey ? hows all regs doing regards borderer.
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